November nineteenth, two thousand and ten

The day was overcast, a bad omen from the beginning.  When a day is anything other than sunny in Los Angeles, people start to drive like they have lost all control over their motor skills.  This alone opens the day to all sorts of possibilities when it comes to stupidity.
One of my favorites is The Lost Female.  This involves one female driver, most likely in an SUV, one "left turn only" lane, one red light, and a whole lot of traffic.  It begins when the light turns red and the driver is in the left hand turn lane.  Today was extra special as it was two left hand only lanes.

 Now this is where it get's fun.  As we all approach the intersection, the woman in the SUV hops in the far left turn lane.  Here she stays for a solid 10 seconds.  During this time, everyone is sitting at the light, everyone is happy.

Then all the sudden, wonder bitch in the blue car decides "Holy shit!  I don't want to get on the I-10, what the hell was I thinking?"  Now she starts doing the wonderfully LA move of starting to cut over before the light changes.  It starts off slow, but all the sudden, I as the black car to her right, realize that this worthless mouth breather is cutting me off.

Now it is obvious to everyone that when the light turns green there will be a free for all.  The people going straight don't want to let this worthless twat in.  The people behind me can't believe this bitch would try this.  Everyone has started to throw hand gestures to signify their distaste for what is happening.  To the untrained observer, one would assume we are all deaf and simply communicating that we want to kill this woman.  And I am sitting in the middle of all of it, knowing full well that I will not be making this light.  At this point, the rage starts to set in.  It builds slowly, churning in my stomach like a hurricane.  I know there is nothing to do but wait, so I sit there, stewing, waiting for the inevitable.  And then it happens.  The light turns green.

The bus only makes it worse.  Without the second lane, everyone is keeping this whore of epic proportions from continuing on her journey of stupidity.  The people behind me are able to cut around and make the left.  I, like a fool, think for a moment that I can back up and get around this worthless waste of life.  The cars are coming to fast, however, and I wait in vain for my chance.  And then, right as she merges into the lane, forward to what I can only hope is a giant wreck with an 18 wheeler resulting in her death, the light turns red.

 I hate everyone.